i feel

i feel as if i have no control over my life at the moment.
The clock keeps ticking as time ticks forward and as each day passes, im left behind gradually even further...

so much work is due and so much as to be done! but i jus want to sleep through it all and never wake up coz i don't want to face it all.... i jus cbb doin half it... im jus sick and tired of everything...

at times i wish i had the ability to know wat was on ppl's minds. im so lost. i don't know wats goin on anymore and i jus feel so out of it.
i think im a bad person and at times i know i fail as a friend.
i don't even deserve to have good friends but for some reason im surrounded by so many and i know i do not deserve any of their friendship or anything from them.
i hate myself and i don't know wat to do anymore.

i feel as if everything is flipping against me. for some reason i feel as if ppl are building a wall up against me and im stuck on the other side.

wats wrong with me??!!
am i really that hard to be around?
am i really that hard to face?
am i really that hard to talk to?
am i really that hard to like?
am i really that bad??


**cries**

xoxox